How should you write a letter to a alcoholic parent?

I’m writing a letter to my mom who is a alcoholic. I need some help writing it. I don’t want her to feel like I’m attacking her but I’m trying to express my feelings. Please help!

Ok quick pointer… your mother is AN alcoholic.. not A alcoholic.

And uhh yeah this is always hard approaching someone you love and care about with a pressing issue. Here is what I would say. I don’t know your age or anything… but tomorrow or the next time you see her.. tell her you want to start doing _________. Whatever you choose to say you are going to start doing make it something she will not approve of.. something that she is going to say will ruin your life and is a wasteful oppurtunity. My strategy here is to try and get her to tell you to stop doing something by the same logic you could use against her. Ya feel me? Like if you randomly started smoking.. Your mom would probably say not to do that because it is bad for your health.. and if you ask why she even cares she would say because she loves you.. same argument you could use against her and her drinking.

One thing you’ll need to do is to ask her why she drinks so much.. it’ll prob get emotional here. She’ll prob either lash out at you or start crying. But tell her she doesn’t have to tell you if she doesn’t want… but you just want her to see that she is obviously drinking to suppress some memory and that that is never the right thing to do. Tell her if something is bothering her or if something traumatized her that you want to help her.. and you want to help her get healthy so she can be in your life as long as she can.

That’s what I can think of… But there are three main rules you have to remember

#1) Do not turn this into an argument; if she starts getting ansy or hostile just tell her you want to help that is it. And if she will not cooperate put it off for another time, because anger never helps come to an agreement.

#2) Do all this while she is sober (if possible) or whenever she is at the least level of intoxication. If she is balls hard drunk and you try this she will a) likely not remember anything, b) not be able to take you seriously, and c) probably lash out because people are usually extra tippy when they are drunk

#3) If you ask her to change… you have got to help her and stay dedicated. You can not simply tell her to stop drinking and expect her to do it on her own. She is in this predicament because she cannot control herself.. so there is no way in hell she will be able to do this on her own. You will have to start spending way more time with her, and try and help her develop a new hobby (i.e. knitting, walking, cooking channel, etc..)

Best of luck and my prayers are with you sweet darling! icon smile How should you write a letter to a alcoholic parent?

One Response to “How should you write a letter to a alcoholic parent?”

  • Kelly Kaine says:

    Ok quick pointer… your mother is AN alcoholic.. not A alcoholic.

    And uhh yeah this is always hard approaching someone you love and care about with a pressing issue. Here is what I would say. I don’t know your age or anything… but tomorrow or the next time you see her.. tell her you want to start doing _________. Whatever you choose to say you are going to start doing make it something she will not approve of.. something that she is going to say will ruin your life and is a wasteful oppurtunity. My strategy here is to try and get her to tell you to stop doing something by the same logic you could use against her. Ya feel me? Like if you randomly started smoking.. Your mom would probably say not to do that because it is bad for your health.. and if you ask why she even cares she would say because she loves you.. same argument you could use against her and her drinking.

    One thing you’ll need to do is to ask her why she drinks so much.. it’ll prob get emotional here. She’ll prob either lash out at you or start crying. But tell her she doesn’t have to tell you if she doesn’t want… but you just want her to see that she is obviously drinking to suppress some memory and that that is never the right thing to do. Tell her if something is bothering her or if something traumatized her that you want to help her.. and you want to help her get healthy so she can be in your life as long as she can.

    That’s what I can think of… But there are three main rules you have to remember

    #1) Do not turn this into an argument; if she starts getting ansy or hostile just tell her you want to help that is it. And if she will not cooperate put it off for another time, because anger never helps come to an agreement.

    #2) Do all this while she is sober (if possible) or whenever she is at the least level of intoxication. If she is balls hard drunk and you try this she will a) likely not remember anything, b) not be able to take you seriously, and c) probably lash out because people are usually extra tippy when they are drunk

    #3) If you ask her to change… you have got to help her and stay dedicated. You can not simply tell her to stop drinking and expect her to do it on her own. She is in this predicament because she cannot control herself.. so there is no way in hell she will be able to do this on her own. You will have to start spending way more time with her, and try and help her develop a new hobby (i.e. knitting, walking, cooking channel, etc..)

    Best of luck and my prayers are with you sweet darling! :)
    References :

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